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Why do pencils look like rubber?

“Because they are.”

Do you believe in magic?

“No, and I don’t think there is a God but a man with a gun.”

Are there many more in the world?

“Only a few.”

Do you believe in UFOs?

“It hasn’t happened.”

Do you believe in astrology?

“No, I don’t”

Is the Earth flat?

“I don’t know.”

If you were stranded in the middle of nowhere, what would you eat?

“No food, no water, no air. I would run for my very life.”

What have you been told?

“Oh, this is a good problem for a play – a woman can’t bear a little more pain in the neck.”

Is there a God?

“No, but Jesus was very clever.”
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On a scale of One to Ten, how important is science?

“Very important, ten.”

On how much do you care about the fact that your wife has one leg?

“Quite a bit, very much.”

On whether you have ever been in love?

“Yes. I have.”

Do you ever fall in love?

“No, but I think a woman’s heart has to be very large in order to sustain such a passion.”

Is sex important?

“A woman should be capable of bearing children without any special effort of her own.”

On what is sex?

“Sex is a way of using your senses to stimulate the passions of your heart – of your soul – for the better.”

On whether I have ever had sex without love?

“No, but in life I’ve gotten all the rest I want without even making love.”

On sex, is it true that the penis can be penetrated by anything it wants?

“Yes, but not very well.”

On whether I should be scared of a woman with a black eye?

“I’m afraid not very much.”

On whether that is so, is it?

“I’m afraid not for the reason you mention, dear, but because there is nothing for which it is not capable.”

Is sex more serious than love?

“Sex is a way of making love with a complete satisfaction. It is not the least important of