Is it all or part your nose? And, when people in public were talking to you, just the way they talked? And, did you have any trouble or problems making eye contact? And, what, if anything, did you do or say to people that upset you? And, just generally, if you had any kind of anxiety or stress, what were the top things on your mind? And, what, if anything, did you want to stress out about, if anything? What kind of things does the future hold of you as a public person, and as an artist?
These are all questions I ask myself and others often when contemplating such things as career and life decisions. I think this is because, if the public wants to understand me as an artist, then, to a certain extent, I want them to have my whole life experience to relate back to me. I’m not trying to make a point or something specific, really, I’m just trying to offer some reflections about my experiences that may or may not have been the most useful.
But, when you ask me, “Well, do you have questions about your art?” I might well have such questions, but I try to focus in much more of my time on those things that are my passion or those things that I am deeply involved in. These things that are important to me in my life, I try to take the longest time to think about, like a long review of the day before tomorrow, and the day before next, and perhaps the day after before the next, before the next.
And, I tend to find, when writing about art, that sometimes, like, I would really get anxious about something, not because I felt really uncomfortable with whatever the thing was, rather, I was trying to really assess what it meant, to what degree it was an important part of my life at the time, and I was really trying to think up all kinds of questions, and trying to think about everything in terms of the broader implications and all the possibilities, which is really, honestly, really hard. It is really hard.
There are a lot of things that I would like to know. If I ever was going to be making a long-term career in the future—which I don’t think I will, but I might—I want to know how many hours a day my body and mind actually do this work, and what the impact has been on my mood since I’ve started, not because I haven’t
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